A Grandparent’s Voice: Finding your seniorism

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We do not talk about it. In fact, it seems to be a taboo subject. We can look it up online, but it really doe not explain it.

We get a notice from AARP, but that is just advertising it. Companies make money off of it. Some even abuse it. Yet we really do not talk about it. What is seniorism all about?

-ism /ɪzəm/, /ɪzm̩/

Definition: Used to form names of a tendency of behavior, action, state, condition or opinion belonging to a class or group of persons, or the result of a doctrine, ideology or principle or lack thereof.

Seniorism. Of course, it is another of my made-up words that seems to fit what I feel. Why not invent words that are non-existent for topics that are of the same? So seniorism comes to mind, because it is something we fail to approach in real terms.

I am tired of commercials that treat seniors as idiots. They try to sell us insurance, prescriptions, anything that might possibly pull in anyone over 60, thinking that we are all ignorant, because we are older. Actors tell us how scared they are of dying and having no insurance. Marketing teams brainstorm on ways to draw in what they consider “the weak-minded” by waving fear and worry in the direction of their focus audience. Pull us in because they feel we are stupid. Well, marketing people, insurance companies, drug manufacturers and all the rest of you, we are not ignorant of your ploys. We are not fooled by your lack of respect for the senior population of this old world. I stand up against you. I am older….and a whole lot smarter.

We do go through changes that no one seems to care about. The memory has a few bumps. The body aches. There are some things we can no long do. For me, I cannot write letters by hand. The arthritis in my hands makes it too painful, so I correspond only by computer. Financially, we might be weaker, a weakness that TV commercials and businesses pray on. The old eyesight is weaker. We lose more friends and family as we age. We think more about our own mortality. So why don’t we talk about these things? Why don’t we talk about what we have to give and what we really possess inside?

So, I might be older, but truly I am better. I remember those days of wanting to have the perfect family and perfect home. I learned that perfect wasn’t really so perfect after all. I remember those days of wanting the perfect hair, the perfect body, the perfect glow of youth. I wasted a lot of my life trying to perfect it. I think seniorism teaches us more than in any other time in our lives. Perhaps it comes when lose our first loved one. Our hearts learn truly about pain and loss and makes us more aware of passing of time. We learn that we can’t go back. We learn that the people in our lives are very precious. Time is precious.

I believe I have found my seniorism and have come to accept it. I can grow, learn. I can adapt with the weaknesses I discover with age. I can embrace what I have with the people in my life in a way I never could have before. I am better then ever, because I know that life does not last forever. So do not put me into a category of uselessness, empty headed, senile, weak category you younger people put those of us into, because I am a strong woman of 69 years who can love, learn, change and embrace a world that needs a lot more understanding care. We are a blessing to those around us, because they benefit from the lessons we have learned and those we are learning. If we fail in that effort to be kind, loving and adapting, then we have truly failed.

There is a responsibility in this seniorism that all will be part of one day. We owe it to our families and friends not to be grumpy and difficult. We owe it to them to see our doctors and to listen to them. We owe it to everyone on the road not to drive if we have been asked to stop driving. We owe it to our grandchildren to be an examples of kindness, love and peace. We owe it to ourselves to allow our families to care for us and to seek help for us when needed. We must own our seniorism when time finally takes a toll on our health and our ability to care for ourselves. We have had our lives and the freedom to make decisions. If we push and shove our ways into the lives of others because we believe we deserve it, then maybe we are not so deserving. We need to be a plus not a minus.

So today I embrace seniorism. I cheer you all on in your life journey, in making good decisions, in participating in your children’s lives, making pleasant memories for everyone in your family. We are blessed to have time to leave a behind a legacy of love.

By Pamela Loxley Drake

A Grandparent’s Voice

Pamela Loxley Drake is a former resident of Darke County and is the author of Neff Road and A Grandparent’s Voice blog. She can be reached at [email protected]. Viewpoints expressed in the article are the work of the author. The Daily Advocate does not endorse these viewpoints or the independent activities of the author.

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