Versailles News: Over or under?


Do you remember Mr. Whipple and his famous words, “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin”? I wonder if he ever pondered the question of which way to hang the toilet paper. Perhaps you’ve found yourself in a somewhat heated debate on whether the toilet paper goes over or under. You might be surprised to know you are not alone. In fact more than $100,000 US dollars were spent on a study to determine whether most people put their toilet paper on the holder over or under? The answer was 3 out of 4 people preferred over the front.

Apparently toilet paper is no trivial matter because there are many facts available regarding toilet paper. Some are listed for your amusement.

  • In an average household a roll of toilet paper lasts approximately five days.
  • Seven percent of Americans steal rolls of toilet paper from hotels or motels.
  • One tree produces about 100 pounds of toilet paper.
  • The daily production of toilet paper is about 83,048,116 rolls per day.
  • Global toilet paper production consumes 27,000 trees daily.
  • More than seven billion rolls of toilet paper are sold yearly in the United States alone.
  • Americans use an average of 23.6 rolls per capita a year
  • It takes about 384 trees to make the toilet paper that one man uses within his lifetime.

Toilet paper is often used for making dresses. There’s even an elaborate annual wedding dress contest in which the grand prize winner receives $10,000. This is seriously worth checking out online at http://www.tpdresscontest.com/.

Yes, gone are the days of outhouses with corn cobs, newspapers or the Sears catalog. However, that’s not the case in many parts of the world where they do not use toilet paper because they do not have adequate plumbing to breakdown toilet paper or sufficient money to buy paper that is flushed. Europeans consider toilet paper irritating and unclean compared their bidets.

Do you remember a news report regarding how your toothbrush is exposed to airborne fecal matter each time the toilet is flushed? Well, MythBusters performed a month long test by placing 24 toothbrushes in a bathroom, daily they used only two and simply rinsed the other 22 toothbrushes. They also kept two more toothbrushes in an office far from the bathroom. At the end of a month they sent all the toothbrushes to a microbiologist for bacteria testing. The results acknowledged that all the toothbrushes were speckled with microscopic fecal matter, included those that were never inside the bathroom.

Researches in the University of Arizona proved that each time you flush the toilet many water droplets are expelled into the air and fall onto the counter tops, sink, towels, floor, as well as the your toothbrush. That would include the roll of toilet paper that has a ringside seat, so to speak. Since toilet paper is used at a point of entry I’m surprised manufacturers and the media have not yet persuaded us into giving up our toilet paper in favor of convenient sanitized individually packaged personal wipes, such as flushable Wet Ones®. (This is not a personal endorsement for Wet Ones® in fact it is my opinion that if we didn’t get sick from those old public toilet holes of the 50’s and 60’s nothing said in a report will scare me away from toilet paper or indoor plumbing.)

Did you hear the one about the incurable romantic woman who sent her husband this text: “If you are sleeping send me your dreams. If you are laughing send me your smile. If you are eating send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying send me your tears. I love you!” Her non-romantic husband replied: “I’m on the toilet. Please advise.”

UPCOMING EVENTS:

Tonight, August 25 is Versailles first Varsity football game. Good luck tigers!

Mark your calendar for the annual “Breakfast at with the Tigers” at the football field next Sunday, September 2, from 7:30 – 10:30 a.m. The meal consists of pancakes, sausage, scrambled eggs, coffee and juice for $6. Eat in or carry out. There will also be the opportunity to purchase a chance for the annual football drop.

BBQ Chicken Dinners to benefit St. Peter Neuro Center are being sold now for pick up on Sunday, September 10. For tickets and information contact Dave Bohman at 937-623-1498 or Brad Winner at 419-305-0050.

Happy birthday to Theodore Finnarn, Bernadette Shawler, Stacy Dirksen, Chris Kemper, Erin Rismiller, Violet Rhoades (4), Tiffany Potter, Colton Reese, Matt Pulfer, Jamie Delancey, Scott Peters, Myrna Lou Warner, Deb Rose, Scott Peters, Joe Magoto, Louise Grilliot, Chloe Alexander, Shirley Baker, Jacqui Rethman, Lynda York, Chris Lennon, Kellie Longfellow, Lynn, Brooks and Tessa Blakeley, Mary Jo High, Julie Poeppelman, Cathy Huber, Carol Frey, Carol Dunkel, Cameo Monnin, Mary Anne Stucke, Kathy Gehret, Karen Holsapple, Crystal Buteau, Heidi DeMange, Lynn James, Nick Eilerman, Kaleb Matchett, Mary Seman, and Mariah Collins as their birthdays approach as well as, anniversary wishes to Tammy and Mark Thomas (3), Jarica and Aaron DeLoye (4), Megan and Keith Wuebker (6), Kim and Scott Ward (11), Heather and Todd Prenger, Lori and Rob Cordonnier (23), Sandee and Ted Detrick (25), Dawn and Tony Brandt (27), Jody and Doug Groff (27), Shawn and Chris Kemper (30), Lynn and Kent James (37), Louise and John Grilliot (40), Denise and Larry Laub (40), Cheryl and Dave Fine (46), Joan and Larry Roll (49), Linda and Carl Meyer (54), Kay and Dave Holfinger (58), Peggy and Jack Borgerding (63). Retirement wishes to Jo Langenkamp.

Please give your supportive and healing prayers for the many who are dealing with any of life’s countless challenges, and especially for Norbert “John” Magoto, Phyllis Oliver, Susie Barga (knee replacement), Bob Longenecker, Arlene Pohl, Mary Phlipot, Jerry Paulus, Tim Bayless, Pooch Barga, Anthony “Bucky” Francis, Mildred Levering, Chris Apple, Wilma Heiby, Carl DeMange, Rosie Cordonnier, Romaine Berger, Irene Gehret, Judy York, Miriam Harman, Jack Monnin, Mary Batty, Norma Magoto, Terry Black, Betty Kremer, Denny Grilliot, Beverly Brown, Julie Keihl, Joan Magoto, Jeanne Brandon, Rosie Pearson, Virginia Smith, John Subler, Mary Barga, Anabelle Subler, Julia Billenstein, Merilyn Borchers, Connie (Baltes) Lechleiter, Dan Monnin, Lois Youngker, Barb Goubeaux, Cyril Frantz, Eileen Rahm, Cyril Voisard, Samantha Smith, Brian Voisard, and all those not mentioned by name who are recuperating, ailing, suffering, hospitalized, homebound and/or in need of our prayers and their caregivers.

Heartfelt sympathy to the family and friends of Sharon Heitkamp (74), George Rhoades (91), and also remembering within our hearts the lives of Mary Parker, Emerita Boerger, Bob Menke, Julius Jutte, John Pequignot, Gail Teegarden, Marietta Holthaus, Dustin Rutter, Billy Hayes, Karen Stone, Bev Armstrong, Glenna Burke, Margaret Reck, Dan Batty, Louis Doenges, Max Huffman, Mildred McEldowney, and all those not mentioned by name as the anniversary of their passing nears.

“Life is like a roll of toilet paper… the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” ~Unknown

“Changing the toilet paper does not cause brain damage.” ~Unknown

“Always remember, no matter how bad things gets be grateful you are not a roll of toilet paper.” ~C. Edwards

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By Kathy Magoto

Versailles News

Kathy Magoto is a volunteer citizen columnist, who serves The Daily Advocate readers weekly with her weekly Versailles community column. She can be reached at magmon1@embarqmail.com or at 526-3798. Feel free to contact her with Versailles news and tidbits. Viewpoints expressed in the article are the work of the author. The Daily Advocate does not endorse these viewpoints or the independent activities of the author.