While out of town last week, I thought I would get my haircut. The young cosmetologist and I hit it off immediately. Somehow we quickly discovered we had some eating habits in common – neither of us like coffee or eggs. The conversation flowed from there to more personal things like family and her ex. She had a young daughter and described the girl’s father by saying, “The guy isn’t any good!”
I have chivalry running through my blood. I believe women should be honored and respected. Things like opening a door, walking on the side of traffic, pulling out a chair to help her sit down are all signs of respect. Over time society has lost the idea that these actions are respectful. One day I held open the door for an unknown woman walking toward the entrance of a store. We had the following conversation.
“I can open my own door; thank you.”
“Have you ever seen the President of the United States open a door?”
She thought for a second, “No. I don’t think I have.”
“That’s because of the respect due him. Nothing different here. I’m just trying to show you my silent respect.”
Honestly, I think it is sad that society has removed the silent signs of respect toward women. In eliminating these gestures of respect, it has become that women are less respected. Our hairdresser’s guy that “isn’t any good” is only one many that have done disrespect to women by far more significant things than merely not opening a door.
Julie and I will be celebrating our 40th anniversary later this year. We were married young, both still in our teens; the love we have for one another is stronger today than it was then and continues to grow. I believe our relationship can withstand anything thrown against it because we built it in such a way that fires never grow beyond incipience.
Both of you should have respect for each other and God. In American society today, sex outside of marriage is more than commonplace, it is expected to the point that if there is no under the cover activity something must be wrong.
The idea that making love is showing love toward one another is somewhat of a misnomer. There is a reason God calls adultery and fornication sins. When Julie and I walked into that hotel room on our wedding night we made love to each other knowing neither had done this before and neither of us had intentions of doing this with anyone else for the rest of our lives. By saving ourselves for this moment, after the official commitment of marriage, that night became unique and helped solidify to one another that each other was cherished. By waiting, our love making that night showed not only that we loved one another, but that our love was a wall of protection around the both of us from anything that could possibly tear us apart.
Even if your virgin ship has long sailed, make a commitment to be committed to God and the future spouse by waiting from this point forward. By waiting, that first time together will do so much more than show your love toward one another; it will build a stronger relationship in the future.
The second topic of advice – talk to each other about everything before you are committed to one another. Discuss every issue possible. Example – if you decide on the handling of money, how daily financial decisions are made then as situations arise the decisions have already been made, therefore, keeping arguments in the future to a minimum.
A note about the lack of love. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is selfishness because the act of love is when you give yourself to something or someone. The more selfishness in a relationship; the less of a connection there is, and, the opposite is also true – the more love there is, the more significant the bond.
The guy that “isn’t any good” is probably cut from a mold made without love or respect. Ladies, please demand both – make him wait for you and open your door.
Preacher Johnson is pastor of Countryside Baptist Church in Parke County, Indiana. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Website: www.preacherjohnson.com. E-book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TUJTV2A If you email, inform me where you have seen Preacher’s Point. Viewpoints expressed in the article are the work of the author. The Daily Advocate does not endorse these viewpoints or the independent activities of the author.
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