Versailles News: Laughter is the best medicine


By Kathy Magoto - Versailles News



Everyone enjoys a good laugh, but were you aware of the many benefits of laughing? Laughing eliminates toxins, engages our brain, raises our spirits, uses lots of muscles and connects us to others who enjoy a good laugh.

There is evidence that laughter boosts the immune system, lowers stress and reduces tension. Another study has shown that 15 minutes of laughter can reduce pain by elevating endorphins by 10 percent. Laughter also reduces depression and bolsters a relationship.

Perhaps one of the best benefits of laughing is an optimistic outlook, which increases one’s life expectancy by 55 percent over the pessimist. Of course laughing can produce other physical benefits. For instance, a good belly laugh engages the diaphragm, contracts the abs, works the shoulders, empties the lungs and causes deeper breathing, which is helpful for those who suffer from asthma or other respiratory ailments. Laughing is also good for the heart; those who laugh lots on a regular basis have lower blood pressure than those who do not. Laughing burns calories, as it raises the heart rate and speeds up the metabolism. Research shows that 15 minutes of laughter each day is as important to your heart as 30 minutes of exercise three times a week. In fact, laughing 100 times is the equivalent to 10 minutes on a rowing machine or 15 minutes on an exercise bike.

Since I’m not sure there are any benefits to groaning and rolling one’s eyes, please try your best to laugh at the following.

A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke … Thank goodness it was a soft drink.

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker … But when I got home, all the signs were there.

People wonder why I call my toilet “the Jim” instead of “the John.” … I do it so I can say “I go to the Jim first thing every morning.”

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger … And then it hit me.

Q. Why can’t you trust an atom?

A. Because they make up literally everything.

Q. How do fish get high?

A. Seaweed.

Q. What does a grape say after it’s stepped on?

A. Nothing. It just lets out a little wine.

Q. Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert?

A. Because they’re always stuffed.

Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A. A gummy bear.

Q. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

A. It gets toad away.

Q. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

A. Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup

Q. Did you hear about the guy who broke both his left arm and left leg?

A. He’s all right now.

Q. What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?

A. A small medium at large.

Q. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?

A. Because he had a great fall.

Q. What do computers snack on?

A. Microchips.

Q. How come oysters never donate to charity?

A. Because they’re shellfish.

Q. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

A. You’re too young to smoke.

Q. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

A. A Juan on Juan.

Q. What’s the tallest building in the world?

A. The library, because it has the most stories.

Q. How do trees get online?

A. They log in.

Q. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?

A. Because he was outstanding in his field.

Q. What car does Jesus drive?

A. A Christler.

Q. Money doesn’t grow on trees, right?

A. So why does every bank have so many branches?

Q. Why did the pig leave the party early?

A. Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Q. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

A. There’s no point.

Q. What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it?

A. A waist of time.

Q. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

A. One says, “Spit out your gum” and the other says, “Choo choo choo.”

Q. What did the janitor yell after he jumped out of the closet?

A. “Supplies!”

Q. How can you get four suits for a dollar?

A. Buy a deck of cards.

Q. Why didn’t the melons get married?

A. Because they cantaloupe.

Q. What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck?

A. “You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything.”

Q. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A. A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

Q. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like to listen to?

A. Plymouth Rock.

UPCOMING EVENTS:

Tonight, March 29 is the St. Denis Fish Fry held in the basement beginning at 4 p.m. FYI: They will be using the same batter recipe they used last year—which was extremely good!

Saturday, March 30 there will be a free will Spaghetti Dinner Fundraiser held at Russia’s Hall from 5-7 p.m. sponsored by the Serra Club benefiting local seminarians. Dine in or carry out.

Sunday, March 31 is the Versailles Eagles Auxiliary Breakfast Buffet held from 8:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

RSVP now and mark your calendar for the Charity Wine & Paint Event held Thursday, April 11 from 6:30-8 p.m. at the Oakley Place, Greenville. $45 per person; call Sandy at 548-9521. Proceeds benefit the Darke County Nature Center.

Happy birthday to Bessie Barga (101), Cristy Moody, Laura Rose, Karla Pohlman, Kim Groff, Zachary Edwards, Debra Reel, Jill Steinbrunner, Lurene Monnin, Myrna Gigandet, Laura Armock, Paula Moody, Mike Shimp, Zac Hayes, Markus Rhoades (2), Jill Gehret, Jeremy Fine, Kim Hecht, Bev Boerger, Diane Magoto, Matt Heffner, Jeff Lyme, Julie Schmitmeyer, Bud Overholser, Marla Spencer, Tessa Fine, Charlotte Rhoades, Grant Flory, Debbie Shively, Mike Shivley, Zac Rhoades, Joan DeMange, Linda Brand, Larry Monnin, Kathy Voisard, Sandy DeLaet, Nick Beasley, Gary Curtis, and Colton Platfoot. Happy anniversary wishes to Danielle and Doug Myers (14), Jane and Steve Selhorst (?), Marcia and Gary Davidson (17), Kasey and Doug Christian (24), Carl and Mike Schuh (29), and Ginger and Paul Brubaker (52).

Please give your supportive and healing prayers for the many who are dealing with any of life’s countless challenges, and especially Art Gaier, Barb Kissinger, Lois Kindell, Joan Kunk (hip replacement), Sally Mescher (hip replacement), Thelma Johnson, Sue Vickroy, Tom Scott, Ruth Pierron, Julia Billenstein, Don Henry, Frank Fullenkamp, Gary Daniel, Sharron Salley, Cali Groff, Janice Berger, Violet Bensman, Fr. John White, Kellie Gehret, Donna Apple, Michelle Sherman, Aiden Myers, Cyril Frantz, Mary Huelskamp, Anabelle Subler, Barb Goubeaux, and those not mentioned by name who are recuperating, under medical care, and/or are in need of our prayers.

Heartfelt sympathy is extended to the family and friends of Charles Pitsenbarger (64), Shirley Roll Eiting (68), James Grilliot (74), Roger Behr (84), and Ruth Heins (91). Also remembering and keeping in our hearts the memories of Sharon Rose, Marietta Goubeaux, Tony Gehret, Charles Edwards, Gary Foureman, Vincent Fortkamp, Sue Minnich, Margie Gehret, Shirley Ann Hoff, Virginia Braun, Pauline Martha Heath, Jack Munn, Bernadine Wendel, Iris Nickol, Joe Kenworthy, Virginia Gilmore, Norma Barga, Earl Baltes, Bob Guillozet, Edith Brandt, Dorothy Henry, Kenny Subler, Loretta Stammen, Sam Grabeman and all those held within our hearts, but not mentioned by name, as the anniversary of their passing nears.

“Life is better when you’re laughing.” ~Anonymous.

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” ~Milton Berle

“Laughter is always the best medicine … except for treating diarrhea” ~Maxine

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By Kathy Magoto

Versailles News

Kathy Magoto is a volunteer citizen columnist, who serves The Daily Advocate readers weekly with her Friday Versailles community column. She can be reached at magmon1@embarqmail.com or at 526-3798. Feel free to contact her with Versailles news and tidbits. Viewpoints expressed in the article are the work of the author. The Daily Advocate does not endorse these viewpoints or the independent activities of the author.

Kathy Magoto is a volunteer citizen columnist, who serves The Daily Advocate readers weekly with her Friday Versailles community column. She can be reached at magmon1@embarqmail.com or at 526-3798. Feel free to contact her with Versailles news and tidbits. Viewpoints expressed in the article are the work of the author. The Daily Advocate does not endorse these viewpoints or the independent activities of the author.