God has blessed my wife and I with 12 grandchildren; of those 12, seven are teenagers, and of those teenagers, five of them are girls.
When it comes to my daughters and granddaughters, they understand they have the advantage with me. When they had arguments with their brothers, well, if I became the intermediary, the girls won. Indeed, if I had lived in the days of the round table, I would have been a knight – saving fair maidens from fire-breathing dragons, and ruthless villains. My wife can testify, even living here in the 21st century, more than once I have seen a woman, a stranger, who appears to have recently shed tears or has a look of distress, and I will ask, “Are you okay?”
Opening a door, giving a woman your seat in a crowded bus, or waiting room are all signs of respect. Acts of chivalry, done with the proper heart, are the actions of maturity in men. Society needs many more knights.
All this talk of chivalry brings me back to the title of this week’s column – “Slap him!” Once my granddaughters cross over into their teenage years, I give them all the same advice, “If a boy talks to you, slap him!”
So far, all of them have responded the same way – the face turns a little red, a beautiful smile comes across the face, and they say, “Papa, I’m not going to do that.”
I will say this repeatedly to them. The girls understand I am not advocating violence toward any boy that gives them the time of day, but it reminds them to be watchful. I have explained to all of them that boys’ motives may not be as lovely as their actions.
Sadly, often teenage boys and many grown men think with every body part imaginable except for the brain. Having been a teenage boy myself, I speak from experience.
What should a girl watch for as the young men come calling?
Watch how he treats you. This observation is essential, but it also can be the most deceiving. Many guys know how to wine and dine a girl. Gifts, flowers, listening to what you have to say, saying beautiful things about you. All this charming a girl’s heart until he gets what he wants; sometimes, once he fulfills his desires, the change is so drastic, leaving her emotions ripped to pieces; anger, bitterness, and loneliness fill the void in an empty heart once filled with love.
Yes, sometimes guys will change from Prince Charming to Dick Dastardly, but if he is not treating you right, to begin with, you cannot expect him to turn into Mr. Wonderful.
I understand that society has removed nearly all the restrictions in the physical relationship, but God has not. God still wants people to wait until the honeymoon. Remember what I said earlier about men thinking with all body parts except the brain? That is true, therefore acts of physical love before marriage are usually acts of lust. A guy willing to wait is a guy you should be willing to wait for.
Watch to see how he responds to the authority figures in his life. God is the ultimate power, so how he responds to the lesser authorities will give a hint on whether or not he is willing to follow God. Does he show respect to his parents, teachers, his boss?
Phrases like, “Mom and Dad are gone, they won’t know if you come over” will indicate how trustworthy he is. If he is willing to do something behind someone else’s back, he will be ready to do something behind your back.
Lastly, but most importantly, is he a Christian. If he is a Christian how close to God is he? How does he respond when you ask him to pray with you, to read the Bible together? Do you see him talking to people about his Saviour? Is he willing to skip church at a whim or is he anxious to be in the Lord’s house?
Also, I would be missing something if I did not turn these questions around. How willing are you to pray with your boyfriend and study the Bible together? Are you actively witnessing about Jesus Christ? Is church something you cherish or endure?
A healthy relationship with God will help protect you from a bad relationship with a man better than the loving grandfather advice of “slap him!”
Preacher Johnson is pastor of Countryside Baptist Church in Parke County, Indiana. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Website: www.preacherjohnson.com. E-book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TUJTV2A If you email, inform me where you have seen Preacher’s Point. Viewpoints expressed in the article are the work of the author. The Daily Advocate does not endorse these viewpoints or the independent activities of the author.