Sweet and Sassy


I thought I would pass along some interesting thoughts for those who are aging, in lieu of giving out my “Think about it” for this week. I found them quite entertaining.

They’re called “Random thoughts as you age.” They are, as follows:

• The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

• Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

• Last year, I joined a support group for procrastinators. we haven’t met yet.

• I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop ticking me off!

• Old age is coming at a really bad time.

• Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap.

• My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

• If God would have wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

• The kids text me, ‘plz,’ which is shorter than please. I text back ‘no,’ which is shorter than ‘yes.’

• I’m going to retire and live off my savings. Not sure what I’ll do that second week.

• Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

• Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant which means chocolate is salad.

• Why do I have to press “1” for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

I must be getting older…I can relate to quite a few of them.

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Don’t forget:

• The Ansonia Community Celebration schedule of events continues through today at the Ansonia Ball Park. Weekend consist of Softball Tournament all three days at $150 per team for more info contact Jason at 937-564-0295. Horseshoe Tournaments will July 3 and 4 at 6 p.m. On July 3, will be Little Mr. and Miss Red White and Blue Pageant at 7 p.m. on the stage at the ballpark ages are 3 to 6 must be in Ansonia School District ($5 entry fee, for more info contact Kami at 937-621-9722)

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Happy birthday:

• July 8 to Shane Buckingham, Todd Kaiser, Kristy Woodard, Brittany Bowers, Bryer Gilland, Jason Kelch and Velma Lowder.

• July 9 to Jennifer Brewer, Linda Thobe Frye, Linda Gasper, Karen Dickey, Rhonda Rhoades Williams, Zane Keller Sr., Bill Staver, Keith Holton, Jaimi Hemmerich, Byron Young, Ashley Leeper, Mason Perez and Donnie Norton.

• July 10 to Jack Baker (55), Kenny Young, Roger McEowen, James Jenkins, Phil Hathaway, Doris Curtis and Hazel Nickol.

• July 11 to Vickie Henderson (60), Diane Christian, Kierra Reichert, Keelon Highley, Levi Best and Stan Stebbins.

• July 12 to Tom Pierron, Kerry Barber, Bonnie Tryon, Jackie Moody Sanders, Jan Patterson, Lori Hahn Smith, Heather Anthony, Kelly Dapore and Amy Whittington.

• July 13 to Laura Francis, Eric Fee, Shirley Gariety, Sherry Deubner, Larry Riley Jr., Larry Walters, Gage Daniels, Mike Berger, Chloe Heck and David Grubb.

• July 14 to Nikki Ford-Hill, Lois Gibboney, Ronnie Hartrum, Kathy Zacharias Leeper, Tom Fox, Mary Barga, Rob Curtis II, Eric Newman, the Rev. Gary Oser and Kim Custenborder.

Happy anniversary to: Brian K. and Audrey Hathaway on July 8; Steve and Linda Nixon on July 9; Harold and June Alley on July 10; and Chris and Kim Barnhardt on July 14.

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Don’t forget to pray for: Stacy Dorko, Mel Grile, Robert Codling, Kohen Thwaits, Terry Black Sr., Kenny Dunevant, J. C. and D’Arleen Waymire, Jill Overbay, Deanna Jones, William DeBord, Heidi Linebaugh, Dave Starline, Bob Hiestand Jr., Joanne Sharp, Larry Bemis, Jennifer Yoder, Ivan Miller, Cindy Elson, Teresa Brewer-Wilson, Darla Bowman, Jim Moody, Dina Dancer Morris, Teresa Mayo Hammons, Nancy Fetters, Linda Hartzell, Jim Crotcher, Tina Kiser Deaton, Alvera Schmitz, Jerrod Pratt, Vicky Henderson, Julia Frey, Tonia Thompson, Fred Monnin, Thelma Shade, Bob Coppock, Joan Toomey, Lee Moody, Greg Moody, Stephen “Brownie” Brown, Faye Schlecty, Neil Isch, Chrissy Neff, Ron Kreitzer, Michelle Sparks Reed, Kris Riffell, Bill Beasley, Candy Riegle, Steve Cunningham, Kody Ketring, Allan Addington, Doug Wright, Bob and Sandy Finkbine, Kevin Dickey, Joe Martin, Tracy Bailey, Jack Riegle, Brenda Grimes, Margaret “Peg” Bundy, Kevin Hemmerich, Ray Dickey Jr., Penny Starns, Dave Sloan, Donna Arnett, Kathleen Floyd, Tim Heck, Vanna (Hannam) Abbott, Suzy Heck Schilling, Addie Henderson, Barb Morrow Zimmerman, Samantha Smith, Shannon Peters Hall, Todd Walls, Ron Kramer, Melissa “Missy” Helmer, Susie Gress of Nebraska, Dana Holzapfel, Kara Didier, Carla Welch, Bill Schuette and to all those others who suffer from the many debilitating diseases as well as all of our military people serving and protecting this nation.

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Jamie and I extend our sincere condolences to the families of: Paul Peters, infant Jase Kimmel and Mike Shellhaas.