I was scanning the Home Life section of a newspaper when a headline caught my eye. “Is Your Home Style In or Out?”
Normally I would never tarry over such an article because I don’t really care if I’m in or out, but I’d already read the comics and done the word puzzles. I still had a few minutes, so I decided to find out if our home style was in or out, and by how much.
Reasoning I was probably way out, I started with that list. First “out” was heavy draperies. Good news. We did away with the drapes when we redecorated, except for one seldom-used bedroom. I’m afraid if I try to remove those they’ll disintegrate all over the floor, and I’ll have another mess to clean.
Next I noted unused rooms are out. We don’t have any of those. Even the seldom used rooms are used for storage so the used rooms don’t look so cluttered.
Then came polished brass. Out! Ha! I do have a pair of brass candlesticks, but they are never polished. They have occasionally been wiped off carefully after the grandsons used them as sword handles when they dueled. The candles were the blades.
Shabby chic is out. Too bad, I probably have some of that.
Do it yourself lawn maintenance is out. This will come as a blow to my husband. He really likes his riding lawnmower. In fact, he likes it so much he even does a neighbor’s lawn.
Wreath adorned SUV’s are out. This is fine with me. I have enough trouble turning the lights on and the panic equipment off. I never even thought about how to put a wreath on the Jeep.
Product parties are out. I can live with that. I’m one of the people who sends in an order and skips the party.
The next one would really hurt if I cared whether I was in or out. Pastels are out. The whole downstairs is pastel since we redecorated. And I like it that way.
Clutter and mini blinds are also out. I would really like to be out of clutter, but I don’t think I’ll ever see the day. The mini blinds will stay “in” here because it would be too much trouble to change them.
Time to peruse the “What’s In” list.
Colored textured ceilings are in. This won’t happen for a long while. We just got them all smooth and white.
Organic pest control is in. Is a fly swatter organic?
Garden lighting and garden art is in. We don’t have a garden so this is out for us.
Water features and ponds are in. This should be interesting with the dive-bomber sized mosquitoes we have in Ohio. It would be especially interesting with the number of grandkids who pass through here. Of course it would eliminate my nice pastel furniture by staining it earth tone.
Now mix and match dinnerware is in. It figures. After 40 years of mix and match, I finally have all the dinnerware matching—most of the time.
Casual dining is in. This is good. We are masters of casual dining. All of our holiday dinners are very casual. We have people sitting in every room. Some sit at tables. Some of them sit on the stair steps, some on the floor. We could give lessons in casual dining.
I never did get to finish the test. But my husband assures me our home style is just fine the way it is, and we shouldn’t change anything any more. My daughter says I could put some bright-colored pillows on the pastel furniture. I think I’ll follow my husband’s advice. Boy will he be surprised.
Author’s Note: This column was first published in the Greenville Advocate on Jan. 17, 2001.
