It’s reasonable to assume nearly everyone can recite the traditional wedding vows with relative accuracy. Perhaps we retain these words because they are strong words; both positive and negative and permanent, irrevocable life-long words. “I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.”
I had a friend stumble over the words, not wanting to say “for poorer.” The justice of the peace had to prompt her three times before she reluctantly repeated the words. It makes for a good laugh but it got me to wondering how many of us say those words without really hearing what we have vowed? At least she knew the significance and consequences of her promise. And even if we do realize the magnitude of these words we might assume we will never allow ourselves to experience the lows of “worse,” “poorer” or “sickness.” (All those who are married—feel free to chuckle at this moment.)
Marriage vows aren’t lofty vows, at least not compared to our baptismal vows. They are more like a reality check on how we are called to live our lives. And with any luck we have chosen our best friend to help us become the best we can become. Marriage doesn’t shield us from life’s ups and downs. Marriage is not the fairytale ending in “Happily Ever After.” There will be hardships and struggles in marriage, just like “real life” because trials are part of “real life.” It’s not the bumps in life that matters but what we do with those personal struggles that define us and strengthen our marriage. Often it’s harder to watch our spouse go through an illness than if it were ourselves, but through the experience we are strengthened individually and together. Through such hardships we come to witness that the two have become one flesh. His pain is hers, her pain is his.
Marriage is a relationship designed to reflect our relationship with the Architect of Life. Part of the marriage plan includes the gift of children, but children should be a fruit of the marriage not a conflict capable of dissolving the marriage bond. In the same manner, two persons working together towards their eternity should lessen, not intensify, their burdens.
Not everyone is called to the married life but being single and living single are two entirely different matters. Many people consider themselves single but involve themselves in the actions of married couples. They redefine the holy union of matrimony according to their fascination. Unfortunately unions that refuse or resist “His Holy Will” set themselves up for malady. Only when the two become one flesh can they receive the grace given of the sacrament of marriage, which married couples know is necessary.
The Marriage Box
Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; companionship, intimacy, friendship etc… The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box; you must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage, love is in people, and people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage you have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art, and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty. ~Author Unknown
Thursday there is an “open to the public” Bid Euchre Tournament at the Versailles Vets Club beginning at 7 p.m. Weekly winners are posted on Facebook.
Birthday wishes to Ruby Ann Rhoades (1), Dewey Ward, Kenia McEldowney, Nicole Lyme, Naomi Bemis, Rick Jones, Annie Francis, Kari Bartram, Mabel Brewer, Courtney Pulfer, Bryan Shafer, Hannah Carter, Debbie Francis, Chloe Buschur, Julia Kremer, Marlene Schlater, Wanda Monnin, Joe Ruschau, Maggie Knapke, Ryan Rose, Larry Prenger, Jason Marchal, Sandy Fletcher, Keyhole Bob, Rita Rindler, Mandy Cochran, Hilda Francis, Paula Varvel, Kaitlyn Overholser, Karen Schultz, Kari Bartram, Mabel Brewer, Courtney Pulfer, Alexandrea Snodgrass and Julie Didier as their birthdays approach. Anniversary wishes to Grace and George Arnett (33), Cheryl and Dave Barlage (36), Diana and Ron Schlater (47), and Marcy and George Stuck (52).
Congratulations and thank you to the Versailles Band, Music and Performing Arts Departments, from K-12, for always putting on outstanding performances.
Please give your supportive and healing prayers for the many who are dealing with any of life’s countless challenges, and especially for Beverly Brown, Cyril Frantz, Denny Subler, Wanda Romie, Terry Buteau, Jack Borgerding, Tyler DeMange, Kim Smith, Bob Condon, Paul Marshal, Ed Bulcher, Jane Huber, Aiden Meyer, Sylvester Meyer, Earl Gigandet, Madison Berger, Tony Gehret, Martha Treon, Terry and Donna Black, Tim Bayless, Jim and Pooch Barga, Chris Apple, Ruth Wirrig, Wilma Heiby, Carl DeMange, Miriam and John Harman, Jack Monnin, Mary Batty, Norma Magoto, Betty Kremer, Denny Grilliot, Virginia Smith, John Subler, Anabelle Subler, Connie (Baltes) Lechleiter, Lois Youngker, Barb Goubeaux, Eileen Rahm, Cyril Voisard, Samantha Smith and those not mentioned by name who are recuperating, hospitalized, homebound and/or in need of our prayers.
Heartfelt sympathy to the family and friends of Wayne Nichols (62), and Don Dull (84), also remembering the lives of Randall Evers, Leslie Monnin, Joe Martin, Ronald Homan, Viola Westgerdes, Emily Subler, Betty Wehrman, Paul Francis, Thelma Shade, Jean Stover, John Nickol, Mary Ann Timmerman, Lester Ward, Helena Frantz, Pat Pleiman, Basil Barga, Lowell Liette, Richard Patty, “Moon” Spillers, Gary Marchal, Norma Phlipot, Robert Wion, Norbert Beyke, Jack Barga, John Pleiman, Paul Barga and all those who are in our hearts but not mentioned by name as the anniversary of their passing nears.
“A great marriage is not a perfect couple coming together; it’s an imperfect couple uniting as one.” ~C. Edwards
“Marriage takes three; You, Me and God Almighty” ~C. Edwards
“When marriage becomes difficult, stop focusing on what you want and focus on what is best for your spouse.” ~S. Amelia
Kathy Magoto is a volunteer citizen columnist, who serves The Daily Advocate readers weekly with her weekly Versailles community column. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or at 526-3798. Feel free to contact her with Versailles news and tidbits. Viewpoints expressed in the article are the work of the author. The Daily Advocate does not endorse these viewpoints or the independent activities of the author.