MeMe (after dinner out with the family): I need to go home now. (I had been with the kids for 3 hours)
Nolan: No, you go home with us.
MeMe: Nolan, why would I go home with you again?
Nolan: (leaning into me and in a soft voice) Because I love you.
Moments in time. Those precious moments we want to savor now and always. How I wish I had a journal of every sweet, silly, wise word my children and grandchildren have ever spoken. Those words that touch me so deeply that I could weep. Okay, sometimes I do shed a tear or two.
We are planning our trip to Ohio in August. I like to schedule my time away when I will not miss any family events big or small. My son James told me that we can go whenever we choose. They will work out the kinks in schedules. Then I explained to him that it is not the fact that they will need to fill in the time for my absence. No, it is because I don’t want to miss a minute of this precious time with them. The twins grow so quickly. In my estimation, there is nothing more important as that time with them. James surprised me when he said that he totally understood. He feels the same way.
Perhaps it is because the older I get the less important travel, possessions, things that separate me from ‘potential moments’ become. I see more clearly that all we have in the end are those we love. The rest is just garnish.
With my parents living across the country, they never partook of the special events in their grandchildren’s lives. Finances were a key player. And, I don’t think Mom and Dad ever thought about it. But I knew it. So when my family expanded, I swore that I would always live within a distance where I could be part of my children’s lives. Those children would never wonder why their grandma was absent.
Last week Loren and I had lunch with the twins. His 6-foot-2-inch frame scrunched into the seat next to Nolan. I sat between the kids. We were instructed by them as to proper cafeteria behavior and the recess rules that would follow. Quickly we learned the names of the other children who were eating or staring at us and were often asked if we were Emma and Nolan’s grandparents. Children who saw me the last time came up for a hug. It was a win-win for all concerned.
“Grandparent” should be a verb. It is not passive. It is not a good noun. It is another word for loving, for playing, for caring enough to give up time to focus on what is fleeting. There is so much joy in this word. It is a title we share with friends who have no grandchildren. It is a gift.
Wednesday I had a full afternoon with the twins. When the weather is nice, we play a game where they ride their bikes up to my chair (the pet store) and order the things they need. Emma always orders 1,000 of all the animals she can name and food for each. She delights me in her determination and imagination. Nolan…..well, this will explain it.
MeMe: Nolan, what would you like to order today.
Nolan: 100 frogs, 100 turtles, 100 chickens, 1 horse, 1 cow, 1 leopard and a bucket of paint.
These are precious moments….because I love them.
Pamela Loxley Drake is a former resident of Darke County and is the author of Neff Road and A Grandparent Voice blog. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Viewpoints expressed in the article are the work of the author. The Daily Advocate does not endorse these viewpoints or the independent activities of the author.