Frank Sinatra crooned it. Every Valentine’s Day the words come around and hang out in my head. I do not know all the words but sing the parts I do know and make up the rest. However, since it is approaching this day of love, I thought perhaps I should get the words straight for once. That is when the chucking began. Ah, this silly thing called love.
Of course, many of us still remember the beginning words of Funny Valentine….’sweet comic valentine who makes me smile with my heart.’ Well, then we go downhill. ‘Your looks are laughable, unphotographable….’. Now really on a roll it goes on to ask if my figure is less than Greek! Well, unless I am in love with Adonis, I imagine he is much less than Greek. And, how dare he ask if my mouth is a little weak. I could let that mouth tell him a thing or two! Next comes insult to injury: ‘When you open it to speak, are you smart?’ Well, I guess that is an honest question, because if this guy is the love of my life and I put up with this dialogue, I must not be very smart.
So, what is love. For those of us who have been there (maybe more than once), we know what science has proven. Those beginning attractions and feelings of overwhelming love are brought on by levels of dopamine, adrenaline and norepinephrine, (good luck pronouncing that) increasing when love comes into being. Dopamine creates that euphoria while adrenaline and norepinephrine give that pitter-patter that hits the heart, bringing with it restlessness and preoccupation that seem to erase all else when love knocks on the door.
It is interesting that in an MRI love lights up the pleasure center of the brain. Blood flow increases. It is the same part of the brain implicated in obsessive-compulsive behavior. Makes sense since love seems to eat up all of our concentration when it walks through the door.
Maybe Frank was right. It is not until we stand back from all those chemical reactions that preoccupy our time that we understand love. For me, I know that love must allow freedom for the other person to be his best, creative self. Not someone to move mountains for me but someone to climb those mountains with me. Perhaps I am a funny valentine. Love should not ask me to change. It should allow me to soar.
But don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentines day.