By Kathy Monnin
The older I get the clearer some things become for me. I know my beliefs are not shared by everyone, so it’s OK for people to disagree with my writings, but they should do so in a respectful manner, or as the Golden Rule states “treat others as one wants to be treated.”
God created man in his own image in likeness and he created them both man and woman. From the two came children to perpetuate life. This was God’s plan, along with giving us free-will. Free to make our own choices with only the guidance of oral tradition, the 10 Commandments, and the Bible. In other words, our best life is lived in accordance with the creator’s plans, and we should not be surprised when problems, suffering, and loss occurs, because we are imperfect and easily beguiled individuals interacting with other imperfect and beguiled people.
Every action has a reaction, and we are easily persuaded to believe we are smarter in the 21st Century than those more than 2,000 years ago. While we may indeed have more intellectuals it is common sense that prevails. Common sense as defined by Merriam-Webster is sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts. Common sense is timeless it doesn’t matter if it’s the first century or the 21st Century. There are many people who have knowledge but are lacking in common sense.
For more than 50 years sitcoms and other forms of media have been attacking our common sense by portraying fathers as non-essential persons within the family, ignorant, weak, inattentive, passive, and detached. Gone are shows that had strong stable fathers such as “Leave it to Beaver,” “My Three Sons,” and “Father Knows Best”.
Fathers play an important part in their children’s lives: Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections.
Fathers can play a crucial role in the cognitive, behavioral, emotional, and general health of a child. A positive male role model helps an adolescent boy develop positive gender-role characteristics, adolescent girls are more likely to form positive opinions of men. Fathers love unconditionally and see life differently than a woman or mother. They discipline differently, and they nurture and communicate differently. Fathers are providers, role models, and numerous studies find that an active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents.
Involved fathers prepare children for the real world by helping children see that attitudes and behaviors have consequences. Fathers stress justice, fairness, and responsibility and are more likely than mothers, to explain the repercussions of the child’s actions and prepare them for the reality and harshness of the world.
Fathers build confidence in their children and challenge them. He is usually interested in producing responsible adults instead of simply raising children. The father complements the mother’s rearing approaches, both are necessary for the best possible outcome of a child to grow into their best version.
Unfortunately, in this country, life without fathers is now established as a major social concern. More than 27 million children, four out of 10, live apart from their fathers, and half of them do not see them. The high cost of absentee fathers is reflected in school dropouts, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, outrageous behavior against teachers, crime, and violence.
These numbers have increased with the growing number of premarital births and a continuing high divorce rate. But divorce is no longer the main reason that children do not grow up with both of their parents. In recent years, single parenthood has increased. Fatherlessness is linked to social problems, emotional abandonment, male aggression, and low academic achievement.
Fathers, stepfathers and even grandfathers are protectors and willing to sacrifice for the good of the family. They should never be treated like an ATM or the subject of a joke. They are important to our society. A society which we all seem to know is heading in the wrong direction. Fathers need to be restored to their place of dignity as head of the family. Happy Father’s Day!
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people that need it most never use it.” ~Bill Murray
“If fatherlessness were classified as a disease, it would be an epidemic and a national emergency.” ~Unknown
“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by the little scraps of wisdom.” ~Umberto Eco
“A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you’ve grown.” ~Anonymous.
Friday, June 17, Tenderloin Fry at the Ansonia Legion from 5 to 7 p.m.
Friday, June 17, music by Noah Back Wells from 6 to 9 p.m. at the Stillwater Valley Golf Course.
Sunday, June 19, All You Can Eat Breakfast from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at the Versailles Eagles lodge. $8 for adults, $4 for children under 10. Children under 3 eat free.
Monday, June 20, Memory Lane Dance held at the Greenville VFW from 1 to 3:30 p.m. Open to the public, with music by Tom Everhart. Admission is $5 at the door.
Thursday, June 23, Card Night with Fred downstairs in the Versailles Vets Club Bunker beginning at 7 p.m. Open to the Public.
Friday, June 24, Danny Schneible performs from 6 to 9 p.m. at the Stillwater Valley Golf Course.
Happy belated birthday to Marvin Keller and Suzie Barga and birthday wishes to JoAnn Ingle, Chris Raterman, Sabina Mescher, Suzanne Hippley, Carol Borchers, Jacki Stonebreaker, Judy Lumby, Crystal Hartzell, Teresa Comer, Betty Monnin, Sandy Peters, Bob Monnin, Shirley McMaken, David Chappie, Roberta Condon, Christy Baker, Troy Kammer, Jim Joyce, Ron Mescher, Kyle Shaner, Jenni Pleiman, Kim DeVoss, Samantha Keiser, Judy Benkert, Ernie Jones, Rita Brandon, Lori Petitjean, Carolyn Poling, Kasey Christian, Carrie Dehart, Richard Gigandet, and Aunt Martha Magoto, as their birthdays approach, as well as, anniversary wishes to Hannah and Scott Henry (14), Kate and Bryon Vulgamore (8), Ashlee and Dustin Lewis (15), Deb and Ted Blakeley (29), Tammy and Bruce Magoto (25), Jan and Roger Borchers (44), and Marcy and Bill Roll (49). Congratulations to Kaylee Phelan as 2022 Miss Chick and Malia Ausborn as 2022 Little Miss Poultry Days.
Please extend your sympathy to the family and friends of Mike “Mark” Baumer (82), and all those who have passed, our fathers, spouses, as well as those we hold within our hearts as the anniversary of their passing nears. Please give your prayers of comfort and healing for the sick, those who struggle, the suffering, the caregivers and those who mourn the loss of their loved ones.
As an act of kindness search your heart and remember a kindness that your father did for you and pay it forward. If nothing comes to mind think of what you would have liked to have received from your father; encouragement, time, etc., and offer that to someone who is lacking a father. If you still have a father acknowledge and thank him and if you cannot do that than forgive him to find peace within your heart.
Kathy Monnin is a volunteer citizen columnist. She can be reached at [email protected] or at 937-423-0914. Feel free to contact her with Versailles news and tidbits. Viewpoints expressed in the article are the work of the author. The Daily Advocate does not endorse these viewpoints nor the independent activities of the author.